The holiday season is upon us. It's the day before Christmas eve. And all the commercials are asking. Are you ready for the celebrations and gift giving bonanza?
|My niece Xmas a few years ago...|
|Oh yea she was ready for Christmas!|
|It's a magical time of year... :)|
Well, I am NOT! lol
Truth be told, I'm a big time procrastinator. It's a trait I am not proud of, but it's part of my personality none the less. The demons in my head are lazy. And they want me to be too.
I'm always fighting the urge to relax. Well, I do know how to chill whilst I multi-task because another side of my personality is quite ADHD... There's really nothing wrong with that. I'm a woman. I think it's just naturally ingrained in our DNA. Though I wonder sometimes why I can't just focus on one thing...
I've been telling myself I'm gonna craft homemade gifts. Yes, I've been saying this for a few years, now. But I can't seem to get around to doing it. I am too obsessive at making my recipes/goodies perfect that the holidays sneak up and smack me in the face. And here we are again. The day before Christmas eve. I'm writing about my inability to follow through. Seriously? lol
Someone once told me that procrastination is a sign of perfectionism. I believe I had an "Aha" moment when I heard that. It makes a lot of sense. I fear that I might not get it right. So I give up before I even get started. Yes, this sounds quite familiar... But here's another truth about me. If I really want it. And if something is really important to me. I will make it happen or make myself available to be a part of it. I don't care about that many things in this life. Wait, wait- okay, don't take that literally. I care more than my heart can contain. But I struggle with pain and fatigue, remember? If not, THIS will refresh your memory.
So, as much as I have the greatest intentions for everyone and all creatures, I only have the stamina to give my time to a few. I feel stretched thin just living day to day. And that's also why I don't craft as much as I'd like. I don't always have the energy to try. But, back to my point, I may not care deeply about a lot of things, yet when passion ignites in my belly, there's no stopping me! I may not be ready to craft gifts this year. Though I am hoping to at least make lip balm since I've had a few requests. And don't get me wrong, I've totally got my shopping done. I'm giving everyone gift cards this year. Plus one small gift. And I'm only buying for a handful of family and friends. My work Christmas party was last week and we did the secret santa thing! I gave a gift card to the person I picked and I received a candle and a gift card for Tim Hortons!
Perhaps, 2015 is the year I break through the barriers that make my transition to a healthier lifestyle difficult. Most days it seems impossible. And then there are moments when the magic of a special time of year reminds me that even though I may not be in the mood, the world is merry anyhow. I may not be feeling the holiday spirit but the "dawning of aquarius" is upon us regardless, and the earth is basking in a peaceful glow. I may not find it easy to change. But the Universe has been evolving for billions of years. We are here and now. Everything takes time.
When life gets me down. When the holidays catch me by surprise. When change seems to drag on and on. I tell myself, "I am here. I am now. I am safe and sound. At this moment I am okay. Everything is going my way." And breathe. I am not one who can absolutely silence my mind at any given time. My body gets overwhelmingly tense, causing me strain when I focus on my breath. Because of this, in my meditations and the times I take a mental break to "come back to neutral" I find a mantra in my memory or make one up on the fly and I repeat it over and over. This repetition helps me to breathe deeply. By focussing on the words individually and as a whole I can recover my sense of security thereby allowing me to regain a calm state. Usually, by that point, I am able to accept that the panic was more stressful than the trigger. And I can then let it go. Again, more repetitions and deep breaths...
It is my goal, this time next year to share a post about the gifts I've made all dressed up in bows. For reals! It's my dream to create a natural brand. I am really trying to create a natural lifestyle. It starts by sharing crafts and knowledge. I have nearly nixed all my skin care products. Excluding shampoo. I can't live without shampoo and I am not comfortable making it yet. I use balms, oils and one-time concoctions for virtually everything else now! I make my own deodorant, facial care, lip balms, body scrubs and even soft soap... But lotions, cremes and soap-from-scratch take a little more patience. Now that I think about it, I have come a long way in the last three years. I can't pinpoint the day or time. But I know a grand shift happened in my search for happiness when I discovered I CAN DO for myself. Here's to turning a new leaf.